Welcome back to the blog!
Last week I discussed how a challenge at work affected my mental health. If you missed this blog, you can check it out HERE.
To be honest, writing these types of blogs drummed up feelings I don't care to have, but it wasn't for me. So many people feel like they're alone with these challenges and hold it in. You think this is a good thing to do but it isn't. Before you know it, it will start to change you for the worse.
With that said, on to today's blog. We as women (men too) have a lot on our plate and without the proper view and priorities in place, you can feel down. Especially with where you are in life. It has been ingrained in our minds that by a certain age you should have this type of job, this type of money, this size family and so on. This is far from the truth, but nevertheless, this is what you believe.
What if you had all of these things, are you happy? Most will say yes but what happens when you lose that job, your husband dies or decides he wants out of the marriage, you lose a child, then what? Are you still happy, I'm sure you're saying no.
So how to do you cope? No seriously how do you cope? What would you do in this situation? For my readers 40 years and up, think about if you were 27 and had all of these things and then the unthinkable happened. What would you do?
I hope I have you minds thinking by now because in life, oh the difference a day can make. At the root of an unforeseen or anticipated change you need to need to know how to cope. Even if life isn't fair, you didn't do anything wrong you need to learn how to cope in the right way.
Emotions run high and can cause panic attacks and anxiety. Before you know it, you're unable to wake up on time, be a mom, wife, co-worker, etc. Nothing you do or say makes sense and people will start to notice. You will be confronted and you will be in denial.
When I decided to write this blog, I wanted to share how I was this person. How I had the job, the kids, the house, etc. Then my ex-husband decided to leave. It turned my life upside down in the worst way. I literally could have died of a broken heart because I didn't know how to cope. My job was threatened to be taken away and I didn't know how to cope. But there was another side I never thought I would talk about. It was the time I didn't want to live anymore.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS CAN BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME.
When my ex left, I was blindsided and devastated. In the midst of me trying to hold my life together and be a great mom, I had an overwhelming feeling of emotions one evening. It had only been two months and I found myself walking down the stairs in my house and just sad. As I approached the bottom I had a thought of just ending it all. When that thought came over me I instantly felt warm and a calmness come over me. I remember getting the second to last step and just sat down. I was in shocked in what I just thought and felt and wondered to myself if this is what people feel before they commit suicide? Is it a calmness that takes over that makes it easy for them to do it. This happened on a Friday night. That Monday morning I call Emergency Assistance Program (EAP) for help. I did two rounds of therapy to get better and I'm thankful for it.
Now I wasn't going to share this but something happened today that made me change my mind. I was on a call with a friend that I've know for about years. She too had been going through a rough time her ex deciding he wanted out the marriage and her trying to raise two young children on her own. As we talked today, she mentioned to me that somedays she doesn't want to live anymore. I told her that she needed to get some help as she had been feeling like this for some time. I stayed on the phone with her while she found the number to call.
I wrote these two paragraphs to share with you how things can go terribly wrong if you don't know how to cope with life's challenges.
END OF TRIGGERING
So how can you cope with life's challenges in order to be the best woman, wife, mother, sister and all of the good stuff?
- Talk out your problems. Don't ever hold them in because after some time it negatively impact you life and health.
- Seek professional help if you need it. It's no one's business if you're in therapy. Just don't tell anyone that doesn't need to know.
- Surround yourself with supportive family and friends. Let those close to you know what is going on and lean on them for support. Your recovery can happen sooner than later.
- Make goals for yourself and plan for them. Is there a trip you want to take? Do you want a new car? Look for a new job? How about that designer bag you've always wanted? Write them down and make an actionable plan you can follow until you achieve it.
- Identify a hobby. I find a lot of people are just bored and don't have anything fun to do outside of work and family. Do you want to learn how to bake, sew, crochet, hairstyling, salsa dancing, photography? There are so many things you can do to make life enjoyable. Start by looking up a list of hobbies and finding one that can peak your interest. Check out some videos on youtube to get better insight into it.
I hope this blog was helpful and apologize if anyone is offended. A blog is not helpful if honesty is not present. I don't want anyone to ever get to a point of depression or even suicidal.
If you're struggling to cope with life's challenges, please seek help immediately by contacting your doctor and/or therapy.
Thank you again for reading today's blog. This is the final blog in our mental health series.
There will not be a blog next week. We will resume on Monday, September 5.